Meet The Young Women Swearing Off Men As A Political Statement

While some funneled their disillusionment into Instagram posts after the 2024 election, Jennifer, 24, opted for a quieter but perhaps more definitive statement: walking away from her three-year relationship.

“It’s like, who do you even trust anymore?” the project manager from Arizona tells Elite Daily. Jennifer thought she trusted her boyfriend, who said he was likely voting for Kamala Harris. That was until he came clean about his Donald Trump vote soon after the results came in. “He had been liking these conservative posts on Instagram,” Jennifer says, which prompted her to confront him. One of those posts? From Project 2025 senior advisor John McEntee, known as @DateRightStuff on TikTok. In the video, he casually takes a bite of food and quips: "So I guess they misunderstood when we said we wanted mail-only voting. We meant male m-a-l-e."

In the wake of Trump’s victory, there was an uptick in misogynistic language and gender-based aggression online. Something else surged on social media in the wake of the election, too: feminine rage. For some, the response was personal. Movements like South Korea’s 4B, which rejects patriarchal norms (and swears off heterosexual dating, sex, marriage, and childbearing in protest), have gone viral, while terms like “boysober” are resurfacing. CelibacyTok had already turned abstinence into a cultural conversation, but post-election, some women are feeling inspired to quit dating or recommit to their vow to opt-out — and they’re doing better than ever.

“Seeing other people post that they had broken up with their significant others over their political beliefs made me realize I wasn’t alone or being dramatic,” Jennifer says. And so, as she puts it, Trump became the president-elect, and she became single.

Tracey Carnazzo, an NYC-based comedian and podcast host, tells Elite Daily she’s noticed an uptick in direct response to the election IRL, too. “I did a show the Friday night after election night, and I was asking anyone if they’d gone through a breakup recently,” she says. “This girl raised her hand, and I said, ‘How long ago?’ she goes, ‘Oh, I just texted him right now.’ I ask, ‘Why did you break up?’ And she says, ‘He voted for Trump, so I’m swearing off men.’”

Decentering men and focusing on my career is the best decision I could’ve ever made.

She made the right choice, says Tracey, who prides herself on being ahead of the curve. She’s been boysober since June 25, meaning she’s not actively dating or making the first move, and she’s turning down anyone approaching her. Since getting out of a toxic relationship, Tracey mistrusts even the men who vote blue, like her ex of five-and-a-half years. “He didn’t treat me well and didn’t live up to the values he claimed to stand for when it mattered,” Tracey says. And while she’s quick to clarify it’s not all men, it’s enough to make her step back for now. The resurgence of 4B solidified that decision for her — it essentially renewed her boysober pact.

“I’m not interested in meeting strangers on the internet for dinner,” Tracey says, adding that dating apps feel more like a “game” than a way to find real connections. She wants her mind to be changed, but isn’t sure it can be after the election. “Honestly, I feel pretty nihilistic about it all,” she says, in light of the return of an administration that orchestrated the end of Roe v. Wade.

Now, she’s happier than ever. “Decentering men and focusing on my career is the best decision I could’ve ever made,” Tracey says. Her friendships are strong, and her career in a male-dominated field is taking off. “When you remove dating and the fear of being alone from your life, you realize you don’t actually need anything from someone else. Your life is already incredibly full — which helps you value yourself a bit more.”

Isabella, 24, from Pittsburgh, jumped on the trend after spotting it on TikTok after the election. Like Tracey, she was already testing the boysober waters, but seeing other girls try it out solidified her decision. After dating men who either openly expressed “horrible views” or disguised them with charm, Isabella is fully on board with swearing them off. But she notes, “Maybe not in the way South Korea has done it.”

I used to think, ‘It doesn’t matter who they vote for!’ but now I know it does.

“4B is successful, I think, when it’s played at the individual level,” Isabella says. While she doesn’t see it as a movement to “drive social change in the short or mid-term,” she likes the idea of choosing a different way of living according to personal values. “I used to think, ‘It doesn’t matter who they vote for!’ but now I know it does.”

During her time away from dating, she’s focusing on approaching relationships with genuine desire, not need. “I want to be much more ‘fire-alarmy’ about things I might’ve given a second chance,” she says. These days, she’s trying TikTok recipes and exploring “cooler stuff” like a new kickboxing class or going bird-watching.

For Jennifer, acknowledging that the dating world feels like a hellscape is an act of solidarity — and so is opting out of it. “My breakup, I’m sure, will be the easiest thing that comes out of a Trump win,” she says. “If we’re still debating whether a woman deserves basic rights, how can some of these men possibly see me as human?”

That’s why 4B resonates with her. “I don’t plan on having sex or being intimate with any men,” she says. Instead, Jennifer is focusing on self-improvement — signing up for a half-marathon and going all-in at work — and nurturing platonic relationships. “And if I do date again,” she says, “I’ll know how to vet better.”